This One's for Jen

Okay, so stop me if you have heard this one:

Young, struggling, Catholic mother seeks solace on the Internet.  (Okay, not *THAT* kind of solace . . . get your mind out of the dirt, sheesh . . .).  Said mother seeks like-thinking, similarly situated women in solidarity to reassure herself that she is not alone.  Said mother—who has never followed a blog before in her life—happens upon Jennifer Fulwiler’s blog. Starts to read.  Becomes engrossed.  Smiles.  Adds blog to her feed reader.  Reads more.  And more.  And more.  Reads each post as soon as it goes public.  All rejoice!  Said mother starts to delve further into this crazy thing called the blogosphere.  Said mother laughs, cries, and overall finds that she just feels so darn better about her life. Time passes.  Said mother began to wonder about starting her own blog and contributing to the conversation.  Said mother thinks and reflects.  Weeks go by.  Months go by.  Said mother works up the courage and starts her own blog.

Okay, yeah, so I *KNOW* that I'm not the only one out there with that story.  Which is why I have been so gleefully anticipating the release of Jennifer Fulwiler’s book, Something Other Than God.  And, wow, it was *definitely* well worth the wait!  Jen manages to put into words so many things that I always understood about Catholicism, but have been unable to articulate clearly.  It is truly wonderful to read the product of someone who, in the period of a few years, spent more time studying and grappling with Catholic teaching than most cradle Catholics do over the course of their entire lives!  She asks the “hard questions” and finds satisfying answers.  Mind.  Blown.  Undoubtedly, her tale has enriched my faith life and perspective.

As excited as I was about the release of Jen’s book, this excitement has come close to being over-shadowed by the third most amazing idea ever to strike Jen’s fancy (the first being converting to Catholicism and the second being her book, duh!) --- what I am affectionately calling the “SOTG Olympics”(!!!). All in good fun, of course, and more importantly in the name of shameless promotion of newest and best Catholic classic to hit shelves the world over.  Honestly, I have not been able to contain my excitement at the chance to match wits with the best of the best in the Catholic blogosphere!  Plus, if there is a chance to win a good prize (especially an iPad mini!!!), I am SO IN!!!

Yep, in fact, I am not ashamed to admit that I have entered basically every single one of her contests. Well, except for that one about making up my own drink. Yeah . . . the culinary arts are not really a talent of mine.

Lest I keep you out of the loop, and in the name of being the overachieving contest participant that I am, I thought I would share my submissions under the SOTG Olympic categories of “Most Epic Selfie” and “Weirdest Place”. 

Note: In case you miss the obvious (ahem, cough, cough, not really) symbolism in each of these pictures, I have engaged the services of “Captain Obvious” to come to your aid.  And now, without further ado . . .

Catholic Lawyer Mama (“CL Mama”): “Let’s give a hearty, Catholic welcome to . . . Captain Obvious!” 

[The Crowd Goes WILD!  Ahem, that’s you there, sitting down, staring at your screen, yes you, the one looking dazed and confused, . . .  Okay, on the count of three . . . One . . . Two . . . THREE!  GO WILD!!!]

Captain Obvious (CL Mama coughs, clears throat, and assumes deep-throated, male, baritone voice): “Happy to be here, Catholic Lawyer Mama!”

CL Mama: “We are thrilled to have you, Captain.  Now . . . on to the submissions!”

Drumroll, please . . .

In the category of “Most Epic Selfie”, we have . . .

Captain Obvious: “In this photo, CL Mama was obviously attempting to ‘play’ on her life as a ‘cradle Catholic’ by traveling back to her ‘cradle’ to reflect on the entirety of her life, beginning to present, in view of the incredibly insightful insights of Ms. Fulwiler. By way of analogy, it is kind of like that moment when your life flashes before your eyes (except without that unfortunate “near death” thing that normally comes with it . . . phew for that!).  Overall, a worthy attempt at humor and irony.  It’s just too bad for CL Mama that a ‘crib’ is not the same thing as a ‘cradle’.  Details, details, details . . .”

In the category of “Weirdest Place”, we have . . .

Captain Obvious: “In this photo, we catch a glimpse of CL Mama’s bathroom and, ahem, personal effects.  Subscribers to the Marquette method will recognize this paraphernalia.  Subscribers to all methods of NFP will appreciate the cautionary presence of the nest of toy dinosaurs hatching from their eggs resting on top of the book.  Very appropriate.  But, come to think of it, I am not really sure why CL Mama thought this was a ‘weird’ place for the book.  It is probably a quite common place for Catholic wives of child-bearing age to store their reading material.  Surely the baby dinosaurs would agree.  If they weren’t plastic.  Or extinct.  Or rendered speechless by their close proximity to pee-sticks.  Hopefully, CL Mama has better luck with the Marquette method than finding a place to store Something Other Than God that will be sufficiently ‘weird’ enough to weird out a bunch of devout Catholics!  Perhaps, she should consider submitting this photo to the contest for ‘Photos Most Likely to Weird Out a Nest of Baby Dinosaurs.’  Seems like a sure winner to me.”    

And we also have . . .

Captain Obvious: “You know it’s good a party when, at the end of the night, there are books hanging from the kids’ ceiling fan.  Pre-conversion, party-hardy-girl Jen would surely agree!”

And . . . drumroll please . . . 

For our last submission, we have a final entry in the category of “Most Epic Selfie” . . .

 P-U-R-G-A-T-O-R-Y

Captain Obvious: “Well, duh, it’s Purgatory.  I mean, what could be more puragtor-atious than a household of hoodlum boys snatching CL Mama’s favorite, non-biblical or papal-authored, Catholic read from her grasp, slamming a gate down in front of her as she screams and struggles in vain to reach through the bars for this one and only profound source of religious inspiration (within view of the camera lens, at least), and then sitting on her to ensure that she stays down in the dumps, alone, without the comfort and solace to be gained from the most amazing Catholic memoir ever?” 

In a word: EPIC!

Three cheers for the SOTG Olympics!