“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I remember repeating this saying to myself as a kid, trying to convince myself, through my tears, that it was true. With childlike innocence, the desire to please, and the extra sensitivity that somehow was part of the person God created me to be, harsh words cut like knives into my soul. Especially as a child. Other kids chanted this statement with a smile whenever anyone said anything mean to them. Why couldn’t I? I would repeat it in my head, over and over and over again. Like a broken record cued to play the moment someone started to say something hurtful. I was determined to convince myself it was true, so no one could hurt me. But I couldn’t. Because it’s not.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Friday, August 29, 2014
It has been three months since I have written for this blog. During that time, I have done a ton of thinking and praying. My husband and I have done a lot of discerning. In that process, I have come to accept that, while my ideals are important in an aspirational “never stop improving” sense, it is equally important that I accept myself, my family, my career, and my life in the moment. Because, in a larger sense, I only have each moment, one moment at a time, and there is no guarantee that I will ever get another moment. Wasting my moments with disappointment over “what might have been” or “what I wish could have been” is not productive. It is not the way to live life, build relationships, raise children, and support a family. Most importantly, it is not the way to reflect Jesus in my life. Better to celebrate and make the most of the days, hours, minutes, and moments we have, irrespective of what “could have been”. Time to move onward and upward.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Note: I wrote this post back in May. I just haven’t had the guts to post it. Even though my blog is anonymous, it just felt too personal. But it also has not felt right to post anything else (hence, the looooooooong silence on this blog), so I’m going to just put it out there and move forward.
Back when I was young and naïve (or, ahem, about 6 years ago), I had this tremendously idealistic sense of optimism and freedom when I considered my future. Grandiose visions of my future family, marriage, career, and children—all lived out in perfect line with my fledgling, newly reverted Catholic faith—danced in my head. Pondering the possibilities breathed such freedom and hope into my life. The prospects and potential was intoxicating.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
It’s been awhile since I’ve come a-quick-takin’. Busy, busy, busy! But here I am! Happy to be here!
One of the things I worry about a lot as a mom is whether I am doing enough to instill faith in my children. How do you raise faithful Catholic children? And, how oh how, do you survive the teenage years?